This Christmas, I got a new laptop for my boyfriend.
All things considered, that was a pretty good trade.
Tag: Christmas
Christmas pun hunting
It’s December, and that means I’m on the hunt for the best and worst Christmas cracker jokes.
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsel-itus
Father Christmas has an exemption to data protection laws in every country so he can maintain a list of naughty and nice children.
It’s called the Santa clause.
How much does Santa pay for parking his sleigh?
Nothing. It’s on the house.
What’s the name for the fear of Christmas?
Claus-traphobia
Festive dad jokes
Father Christmas’ wife is Mary Christmas.
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are fighting. Vader says, “I know what you’re getting for Christmas, Luke. I felt your presents.”
As you know, Santa always enters through the chimney. This is because it soots him.
Two snowmen are talking. One says to the other, “do you smell carrots?”
The best Christmas present you can give is a broken drum. You just can’t beat it.
My mother’s giving my son a picture of Mt. Everest’s peak For Christmas this year. I’m not sure I can top that.
If Santa gets stuck in a chimney does he suffer from Claus-trophobia?
Santa is quite rich these days. He keeps his money in the snow bank.
Do you know what you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman.
The Jedi know that Santa is real. They can feel his presents.
Do you know how much Santa paid for his sleigh?
He didn’t pay anything. It was on the house.
How does Good King Wenceslas like his Pizza?
Deep pan, crisp and even.