Scientists recently worked out how many apples you can grow on a tree.
All of them.
Author: Matt
If Santa gets stuck in a chimney does he suffer from Claus-trophobia?
There is something worse than when it’s raining cats and dogs.
Hailing taxis.
Once, I was really against facial hair but now it’s growing on me.
Santa is quite rich these days. He keeps his money in the snow bank.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark?
Frostbite.
Do you know what you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman.
Have you ever had a bad sausage?
It’s the wurst.
The Jedi know that Santa is real. They can feel his presents.
Do you know how much Santa paid for his sleigh?
He didn’t pay anything. It was on the house.
Where do they make movies about Christmas trees?
In Tinsel Town.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A puddle.
Right up to and including when you turn 31, you can celebrate your birthday all day. The following year you get half a minute. It’s your thirty second birthday.
A joke enters a room of twenty people and kills half of them.
Pun in, ten dead.
Junior class vocabulary lesson
Sally: “Contagious. Measles is a contagious disease.”
Neville: “Contagious, We have a painter at our house, my Dad says he’s takin’ the fun contagious.”
“Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?”
“It looks like the breaststroke, sir.”
I had an argument with a 90° angle. It turns out it was right.
Is the best place to do math homework a multiplication table?
My girlfriend is the square root of -100. She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
I hope this page is a punderful discovery.
I’m worried about that maths teacher with the graph paper. She’s definitely plotting something
I know a scary maths joke but I’m 22 to tell it.