Category: Dad Jokes
Help yourself to these dead batteries – no charge
Q. What is the fastest type of cake?
A. Scone
This dad joke
Pirates make great singers because they love to hit the high Cs.
World War 2 ended more than six years ago
I took the shell off of my racing snail to make it go faster but it just became a little sluggish.
The army’s enlisted men helped build this fence
Specifically, Private Fishing and Private Property.
I met a guy in Egypt who said I could buy a monument for $600.
But it turned out it was a pyramid scheme.
Said the hat to the scarf, “You hang around, I’ll go on ahead.”
I expected that my chimney would be free because it was on the house, but actually, it was through the roof.
I always hoped to become a Gregorian Monk but I never got the chants.
Not all of your body dies at the same time
Your eyes are the last to go. You see, your pupils die late.
I don’t like lightning. It’s too flashy.
Just when you think food cannot make phone calls. Boom! Onion rings.
Humpty has lost his hat
The last I heard, Humpty dumped his hat on the wall.
Q. What’s blue and smells like red paint?
A. Blue paint
Q. What does a sprinter eat before a race?
A. Nothing. They fast.
Q. What do you say if you bump into a unicorn at a party?
A. Ouch
Celine Dion…
Celine Dion has come out in support of farmers by removing all the consonants from her name.
What’s it called when you loose 25% of your roof?
Oof.
I’ve always wanted to convert this lighthouse into a modern home
Unfortunately, the project has been on and off again for years.