What desserts make the most money?
Profiteroles.
Category: Dad Jokes
I have just learned that my local supermarket is out of pasta. I think they might close due to being penneless.
I started investing in stocks. Beef, chicken, and vegetables.
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.
Them: Any plans for the new year?
Me: I going to get some new glasses.
Them: And after that?
Me: After that, we’ll see.
I’d be shocked if I ever got struck by lightning.
As you know, Santa always enters through the chimney. This is because it soots him.
My buddy’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast
The tree let out a long sigh when spring finally arrived. “What a re-leaf,” it said.
The mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.
Two snowmen are talking. One says to the other, “do you smell carrots?”
If you’re lonely, start a business. At least you’ll have a little company.
After years of research, I finally figured out that the secret to a healthy lawn is sprinkling protein powder on the wet morning grass.
This idea was whey over dew.
Until recently, I ran a dating service for chickens. I had to give it up because I was struggling to make hens meet.
It was hard to scratch out a living with all the costs I had to shell out for which was clucked-up.
A bossy man went to the pub. He ordered everyone around.
The best Christmas present you can give is a broken drum. You just can’t beat it.
My mother’s giving my son a picture of Mt. Everest’s peak For Christmas this year. I’m not sure I can top that.
I threw a ball for my dog.
It’s a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a tuxedo.
Look out for the fastest cake in the world.
Scone!
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet. It was clogged.
What kind of bug can tell time?
A clock-roach.
I was at the zoo recently. I saw a cage with a baguette in it. I asked the zoo keeper about it and he said it was bread in captivity.
I’m sorry I am late. I was reading a book about glue and I couldn’t put it down.
I lost 25% of my roof last night – oof.
Scientists recently worked out how many apples you can grow on a tree.
All of them.