Category: Funny because it is true
Q. What is red and bad for your teeth?
A. A brick
Did you know that the Roman empire fell over ten days ago?
The UK army does not accept applicants aged six and under
Make a fire for a man and he will be warm for the night
Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
You must be over 2 years of age to drive a car
I have never, ever, lost a fight with Jackie Chan
(because I have never had a fight with him)
Most dolphins do not attend church
One or more people will read this
Believe it or not you could live the rest of your life under water
House cats are leaving America in droves, our reporter Liz has more:
Liz: Ms Cat, why are you leaving?
Ms Cat: ICE are arresting all the hamsters.
Liz: But, you’re a cat…
Ms Cat: Try proving that to ICE.
How many Tory MPs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nobody knows for sure. They need to form a committee which sacks at least one member each week due to some scandal or disagreement. The committee will take at least six months to meet and agree on a budget. They will then wait for a new prime minister before they award the contract to a party donor. The donor will be added to the honours list for their “lightbulb altering work”. Eventually, the Tories are voted out of power and the lightbulb is quietly changed by a new administration.