How many Tory MPs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Nobody knows for sure. They need to form a committee which sacks at least one member each week due to some scandal or disagreement. The committee will take at least six months to meet and agree on a budget. They will then wait for a new prime minister before they award the contract to a party donor. The donor will be added to the honours list for their “lightbulb altering work”. Eventually, the Tories are voted out of power and the lightbulb is quietly changed by a new administration.

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