Well, a weasel is weasily identified, and the stoat is stoatally different.
Category: Dad Jokes
Waiter, do you serve chicken?
Please take a seat, sir, we serve anybody.
Trumps tarrifs:
They make so little sense that you don’t even get a dollar.
I just made a chicken curry
It turns out it would have preferred seeds
Why do you never see cows hiding in trees?
They are just too good at hiding.
I don’t let my children watch big band music anymore. These days, it’s all Sax and Violins.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was soul-destroying.
How did scrooge end up with the football?
The Ghost of Christmas past.
When you die, not all of your body stops at the same time.
Your eyes last the longest. You see, your pupils die late.
Did you hear about the bad boy of Assam?
He was a little tea-leaf.
If a frog’s car breaks down, does it get toad?
TIL scientists ring birds to see where they migrate
I’m completely blown away – I didn’t even know birds could use phones
These guys get nothing done
A guy tried selling me a coffin yesterday.
That’s the last thing I need.
Did you hear about the chocolate magician?
He always had a few Twix up his sleeve.
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsel-itus
Father Christmas has an exemption to data protection laws in every country so he can maintain a list of naughty and nice children.
It’s called the Santa clause.
How much does Santa pay for parking his sleigh?
Nothing. It’s on the house.
What’s the name for the fear of Christmas?
Claus-traphobia
Did you know where Mr and Mrs Snowman had their first date?
At the snowball of course.
If you are an electrical engineer
There’s no place like ohm.
Festive dad jokes
Waiter, waiter – Do you serve wild boar?
No, but I could annoy a tame one for you, sir
Q. What did the banana say to the elephant?
A. Nothing, bananas can’t talk.